Worthy
by Godsliltippy
Summary: Gordon has finally healed from his accident, but has to prove he's ready to rejoin International Rescue.


Heat bounded off the red stone mountains that surrounded the solitary ranch, their structures towering, yet offering little relief from the midday sun. Inside, however, industrial strength units kept the rooms and halls at a blissful seventy degrees. Down in the hangers, tucked away from prying eyes, it was considerably cooler to keep the machines inside from straining against the desert temperatures.

All that comfort and Virgil still felt a bead of sweat roll down his temple. The drop trickled to a stop by his ear, but he didn't dare wipe it away as his eyes trained on the figure currently leaping across platforms of varying height. He was oblivious to the others standing around him on the observation deck, all of which were likely just as tense.

_C'mon… Almost there…_

For a long moment, Virgil couldn't breathe, the last platform finally in reach, much too far for the smaller man to reach.

A leap, arms outstretched, and fingers dug into the uneven rock of the fabricated structure. Sympathetic sparks of pain shot through the raven-haired man's chest as he watched his brother slam into the side before shakily scrambling up.

One section down. Time for the next.

"You're making good time, Gordon." Scott's voice, trying to be calm and reassuring, called out over the intercom. "No need to rush the bars."

Virgil would've been appreciative of the gentle direction under normal circumstances, but right now, the words only seemed to send waves of frustration through him. Not for who was speaking or even the words themselves, but solely for the fact that they were uttered at all. His ire was only spurred further as he noticed the fraction of hesitation before Gordon jumped and latched onto one of the swinging bars.

They'd been at this since breakfast had ended, the aquanaut practically begging everyone to eat quickly so they could get this all over with. Only, it hadn't gone as Gordon had planned. Yes, he was healed and yes, he'd been training on the island after his physical therapy had helped him regain some of his neglected muscles. He should have been able to finish the course and reinstate his title as aquanaut on active duty. The only problem was, he couldn't.

Not on the first try, or the second… He was currently on his third, reaching for the bars as they swung sporadically over a twenty foot drop into the padding below. Virgil knew as much as the rest of them that Gordon could do this. He may not be at his usual abilities, but he'd already done so much work to simply get to this point. A thirty-three mile running and swimming challenge the day before wouldn't have been easy for most, but Gordon had made it seem like a cake walk.

So why was he having problems now?

"You've got this, Gordo," Alan whispered beside him and Virgil could hear the uncertainty his little brother was trying to stifle.

Last bar and Gordon would be at the wall and it was this point he was having trouble. He couldn't use gecko gloves, but the smooth surface had been replaced by a craggy mountainside. He just needed to free climb over it and he would be at the final challenge of the course.

One hand reached out, taking hold of the rocky surface and it found the secure handhold it had every other time. Then the second hand left the bars, along with the rest of him, forcing Gordon to hold all of his weight on the fingers and palms that clung to the surface.

Virgil had watched him complete enough pullups to know that lifting his body higher on the wall wasn't the problem. It was almost effortless as Gordon grabbed the higher section, dragging himself up until he could find a place for his foot. His progression was slow, but he had time. There was no point rushing and they all knew it, but at the same time, Virgil could see his little brother second guessing his next move.

And then their eyes met. In that instant, the engineer confirmed two things. Gordon had made a mistake and they were the reason he couldn't do this.

A curse sounded to his left from Scott as they all watched the blonde attempt to grab at another ledge, only to miss and skid down the surface, his hold gone, landing with a dull thud onto the mats below.

And that was it for "third time's the charm." Virgil could hear Gordon's words in his head from the moment he started. His heart fell as his own frustration tried to bubble up.

"Scott," Alan had taken a step across him. "Hasn't he done enough? I mean, this course, it's way too hard, right? We've got so much more tech now-"

Virgil knew it was a tactic that wouldn't work, but he inwardly wished it would. These were extreme conditions that they rarely ever dealt with. Gordon would have his gecko gloves if the need arose to climb a mountain. Even as he thought it, though, he knew the answer.

"It's not my choice to make, Al." The eldest sighed, leaning against the railing. "Dad wanted us to be able to deal with any situation. If we didn't have our gloves, we would have to free climb. There's no way around it."

"But Scott-" Alan tried again, his hands flexing with the need to support his immediate older brother.

"Al," Gordon's voice sounded through the comm in front of them. "It's okay... Scott's right." His tone was soft as he tried to send some form of reassurance. "If I can't climb a mountain in here, I can't trust myself to climb one outside."

Silence took the place of Alan's plea, understanding passing between them, yet Virgil still felt his jaw clench. He knew he needed to support Gordon, but the new problem was eating him up and he needed to do something before he lost the will.

"Guys," his voice was low as he addressed the group around him. He was certain they wouldn't appreciate his request, but it might be the only thing to help their brother gain some of his confidence back. "I need the room cleared. Just me and Gordon."

Scott's brows furrowed. "What's the plan?"

Brown eyes met blue and he hoped further explanation wouldn't be necessary. Gordon didn't need to hear it. "We'll talk later. I just need an hour."

The pilot seemed ready to argue, but simply nodded. "Alright, we'll be up in the house if you need us."

"Thanks," Virgil spoke, moving aside so the rest of his family could move down the steps and to the elevator. He offered Lady Penelope an apologetic smile as she followed. She'd been eager to support Gordon and had even offered her manor for an extravagant celebration once he had completed the course. The elder brother had a feeling that she might have been a large part of the reason the aquanaut was struggling, but that was something he would need to confirm once everyone was gone.

Whatever was plaguing his brother, it wasn't physical.

OoOoOoO

Gordon hadn't moved from where he'd landed, letting his stressed muscles rest against the padding. The red material surrounded him, its color a constant reminder of what he would be seeing in the real world should he fail.

Dead… he'd be dead.

That thought was what drove him to keep trying, but that voice kept popping back in. It was the one that told him he would never be back to his old self. He was too broken.

Movement drew his attention away from the relentless downer Gordon wished to prove wrong. Virgil stood at the top of the pit he'd landed in, a look of patience covering his face.

"Takin' a nap?" He offered with a hint of humor. It was that lightness that helped Gordon roll himself onto his side, tucking his hands under his helmet.

Closing his eyes, he smiled and answered, "Yes, and you're disturbing it."

"That was the plan." The engineer took a seat on the edge, his smile softening. "I sent everyone upstairs."

One eye popped open, gazing at Virgil with a hint of suspicion. "Really?"

"Well, you need a break before you go again," because he would trying again. "Also thought you might wanna talk."

Of course, Virgil was always the first to ask about his thoughts and everything he was dealing with. It was just what they expected of him. Scott was always the big brother who made sure you were intact before ushering you off to the second eldest for treatment.

"About how I'm not ready?" Might as well jump in head first, since Gordon didn't really know any other way to deal with this.

"Oh, I know you're ready." Virgil corrected him and he wondered if it was more for the blonde's benefit or his own. "What I want to know is why are you overthinking every move you make?"

"I'm not-" He caught himself as the words pinpointed the reason for every slip up that had sent him into the red mats. He was trying to be better. Trying to push farther than he could have before his accident - not an accident. Every time he caught a glimpse of his family, of Penelope, watching and waiting to see that they had him back - better than ever - he would falter, misstep, miscalculate. "I just… I want to be better."

"Better? Gordon, you've come back from something that would have sidelined most people. You don't need to be better. Just be you."

Didn't he though? He needed to show his family that this wouldn't happen again. He would be faster and stronger. There would be no repeat rescue of a half drowned aquanaut from a broken Thunderbird. Yet, he continued to struggle. Was Virgil right? Was better potentially worse than what he was right now?

Virgil seemed to take his silence as agreement. "You've got this, Gordo. I know you do."

"But - Virg, what if -" Even as the words fell from his lips, he wished they hadn't. He was never fond of 'what ifs', relying on the now, but after facing the Hood on his own turf… and losing… Gordon wasn't sure he could go back to being just himself. Next time -

A shiver ran across his chest and he was forced to take a shuddered breath. That was it. It wasn't about being better. It wasn't about proving to his family that he could take care of himself.

He was scared.

"Virgil," he could feel the pinpricks of moisture building. "If I run into them again…" There was no need to say who 'them' was and Gordon didn't have to look to see that his brother understood, or that he was climbing down the ladder of the pit. A moment later, the cushion shifted as the elder man sitting beside the distraught blonde.

"Gordon, what happened wasn't your fault. No amount of preparation could have changed it. And if you hadn't gone after Braman…" Virgil's voice faded with the possibility they might have never learned about Dad.

The two of them fell silent until a hand came to rest on Gordon's shoulder. The aquanaut felt himself relax under the warmth and he took another breath, willing his mind to calm. "It's worth it." He meant for it to be a statement of understanding and courage, yet it still came out a hesitant question.

"I'm not gonna lie, Gordo," Virgil's hand tightened just a bit. "It scared the hell out of us, but it's still a decision you have to make. You did what Dad would have done and we're about to go find him."

"Scared me too," a sniffle sounded through the speaker in his helmet. "I've thought about all the ways I could've done things different."

"Would you have left him? Braman, I mean." And that slip sealed the answer in his heart.

"No." Emphatically, no. He would never regret his decision to go save the robot - to save their father.

"Even if there hadn't been a message from Dad?" This was the question Gordon had been avoiding. Asking it seemed to be adding to Virgil's own anxieties. Making his little brother feel worse was not at the top of his skill sets.

But it needed to be asked. And answered.

"Same outcome," he let that idea roll around his head for a moment. What would be the harm in saying no to that? If it was his life versus a robot that continued to ask for help? Would he go through the pain and healing again for a useless machine? Only, he hadn't been useless. And now, they had the understanding that not all calls for help would be direct. Even if Braman hadn't contained a message from their father, it could always be someone else. It wasn't for him to decide if something or someone wasn't worth saving. "I would still go." A small smile pulled at his lips as he continued, "but I'd sure as hell try not to get pancaked again."

Virgil didn't laugh or ask any more questions. He just gave his shoulder a pat. It was a gesture that let Gordon know his big brother would support him no matter what choices he made. It's why they worked so well together.

Another long moment passed, but there was more of a settled comfort in it than the cloud that had been hanging over him before. Decisions had been made that would lead them to continue doing their jobs. They would be more mindful of their vulnerability, but the Hood would never stop them from saving lives. Not then and certainly not now.

With a grunt of effort, Gordon pushed himself up, his rest giving way to a new need.

"One more time." He tried to convey the determination he felt in his gut. The hand that took his spoke volumes, brown eyes intense as the met amber.

"One more time. You've got this." Virgil encouraged as they stood.

"Yeah," Gordon's smile grew, "I think I do."

The two of them climbed free of the dreaded pit, Virgil offering his brother a bit of the electrolyte water he would need for his depleted system. Then, it was back to the start. From his position, Gordon could see the whole course, laid out in an S-shaped pattern to keep him in full view of his brothers. Unlike the last time he'd been here, the sections had been moved and adjusted to fit their needs. His needs. Clear this challenge and he could come back. No more waiting at home to wonder if he might've been detrimental on a rescue. Physical therapy would continue, but as a preventative measure for muscles and ligaments that screamed when left unused.

So, with one last glance to Virgil - his closest brother by necessity - he felt the spark of clarity that the elder seemed to instill. There was trust and understanding. Gordon didn't need to reach a bar set too high by inadequacy. He just needed to be who he was and let that decide if he was ready or not.

His smile spread and he gave the thumbs up. "Ready."

"Have fun, Fish," Virgil returned the gesture and activated the course.

Muscles tightened in his legs as Gordon pushed off the platform, jumping to catch a suspended ring that hung over more red cushions. His fingers wrapped around it, muscle memory kicking in as the cord holding it snapped, falling away from its hold in the ceiling. He fell a few feet before it caught again, pulling at his tiring muscles, but he held tight.

Gordon had given himself enough momentum to send him swinging to the next platform. He landed on the small space, barely large enough for him to stand on with one foot. His arms pinwheeled to keep him upright and then he was jumping to the next. Each beam demanded he stop and steady himself before continuing and by the time he made it to the next point, his legs were twitching.

A tunnel system greeted him, a maze of tight spaces that forced the blonde into an army crawl. Each turn had him hoping he was picking the right direction. There was no point remembering from earlier as the maze had been adjusted each time. Gordon grumbled as he came to a dead end, backing up to try the other way.

A memory triggered as he maneuvered himself, of a similar tunnel and a polecat. It made him almost laugh at how absurd that day had been, but then Penelope was worth every minute of it. She was one positive to come out of all of this. She'd almost lost him and told him as much. It had frightened her more than either of them could have expected. That was the funny thing about near death experiences, they made you appreciate what you had.

Light pulled his thoughts back to his task, his heart jumping as he emerged from the tunnel and onto the beams. His footing was sure as he made his way across the two inch wide walkways, his path zigzagging towards a rope suspended over the pit. A jump across empty space and Gordon caught it, pulling himself up towards the ceiling. His feet caught the cord, pinch it tight to leverage himself higher.

Almost to the top, he slid back down a few feet, his arms catching before he could lose the line. Seconds ticked by as he waited for his heart to stop pounding in his ears. To his surprise, Virgil stayed silent, letting him collect his nerves before climbing back up.

_Only a few more stations to go._

Next were the pillars. The varying heights were what caused him the most trouble, having to grab for edges since he couldn't clear the spaces between each. His feet scraped at the sides, faux rock giving him something to grip. Another leap and his chest hit the edge, a breath forcing its way out of his lungs and Gordon realized he couldn't pull another one in.

Panic flared, but he pushed it away, climbing onto the pillar. He knelt in the relative safety of the platform, willing his lungs to expand. When they did, he shot his brother a thumbs up as he coughed against the pained intakes, knowing it was taking all of Virgil's strength not to ask if he was okay.

Last pillar and he was at the bars, each swinging on pendulums in different directions. He honestly hated them, but one never knew when you would have to traverse shifting beams. The first was simple enough, but he was forced to swing around it before the next one could collide with his shoulder and potentially jar him from it. He'd already learned the hard way how much force was behind them.

Two bars down, three to go and he miscalculated his turn, the third skipping over his helmet as he narrowly dodged. Gordon gripped the bar, willing himself not to slide off of it. Another few seconds and he moved, taking hold of the next target and swinging away. Halfway to the wall and he could focus on the one section he had yet to surpass.

His movements through the last two were fluid, no longer distracted by the crisscrossing lines that had made his eyes hurt the first time he'd attempted them. The wall of gray now lay before him as a taunting voice telling him he wasn't ready. He was too weak. Too broken.

And then, Virgil's voice filtered into his thoughts, the man still silent on the observation stage.

_You've got this…_

His own words followed.

_It's worth it..._ Being part of International rescue would always be worth the pain and sacrifice. They'd saved countless lives and they were about to go find Dad. One measly wall wasn't about to stop him from going with his family on that rescue.

With a grunt of determination, Gordon launched onto the wall, his fingers digging into the grooves. Muscles effortlessly pulled him up the few feet he needed to anchor his legs, his body pressing against the rock face. Steady breaths flowed in through his nostrils, sent out in steady streams from his lips with each change of his position. Slow and steady. He could do this.

The faux cliff side jutted out over his head, forcing him to cling to the rock with arms that trembled slightly against the full weight of his body, his boots still solidly in place as one hand let go and slid over the edge. That hand found its hold and Gordon had to make a choice. His muscles were giving out in his current position, but the leap he would need to make could send him crashing down to his fourth failure if he didn't time it just right. And the clock was ticking.

"Here goes…" His feet fell from the wall and his arms pulled, heaving him upwards, over the edge of the protrusion. The lower hand shot up and scrambled for purchase, sliding over smooth stone before -

Gordon's fingers caught. His body hung motionless as his brain let him recognize the accomplishment. He could see the ceiling, each tile a darkened gray that made everything seem so much more vast than he remembered it. Surprisingly, he found it calming. He was almost there. Just a little further and he could stop.

Slithering up the wall, his feet found purchase again, practically launching him upwards to grab the top of the structure. He almost laughed as he rolled onto it, but quickly remembered he had two more obstacles. Thankfully, they were his favorite.

A grin plastered across his face, Gordon moved to the edge of the new platform and gazed down at the pool of water thirty-five feet below. This was his contribution and without another moment of hesitation, he jumped. Free falling was one thing, landing was another, but training kicked in immediately, his arms crossing over his chest, legs bent and then, the brisk sensation of colliding with the water. It encircled him, welcoming him back to the world he missed so much.

Gordon's helmet lamps flared to life, presenting him with the tunnel system that would lead him to the surface. A mechanism triggered as soon as he entered, shutting off his oxygen.

Time limit. Three minutes before his lungs would abandon him and demand he initiate the fail safe.

But this was his territory. He was the fish that could fit through the tightest spaces under the water and find his way to those in need. He'd navigated a sunken ship in low light while it twisted with the agitation of being sent to the surface.

The water. His element, his abilities. These were what drove him past the point of exhaustion, of giving up. He was Gordon Cooper Tracy. He'd survived the worst and was willing to face it again.

So, there was no surprise a few minutes later when he found the source of light that indicated his exit and burst through. His hands found the grated floor, wrenching himself free of the cool waters. His helmet fell to the ground with a loud clattering and he gulped in lungfuls of air.

Strong hands gripped his shoulders and Gordon found Virgil grinning at him. "You did it, Gordon!"

The blonde simply stared, unable to do much else as he knelt on the platform, water dripping from his uniform. The words floated in front of him and with each one that finally stuck, Gordon felt his heart burst.

He did it…

And then, joy brought with it a flood, the tears welling up. His hands found the plaid shirt and clung to the material as he felt himself falling forward into arms that wrapped around him and held him close. They came without question, ready to support where strength was failing.

"I've got you," Virgil soothed. Soft sobs answered and Gordon wondered if his brother would be able to tell the tears apart from the droplets that still fell from the blue fabric. "Knew you could do it."

Gordon didn't respond, instead, soaking in the warmth that was flowing from his brother. They sat in that silence for a few more moments until the blonde finally sat back, Virgil wiping away the trails that had formed.

And with one last, shuddering breath, he smiled. "I did it…" Virgil nodded. "Still gotta show the others." It was a given, but he could see his brother wasn't thrilled with the idea of putting him through it again. That was the job, though. He needed to be able to do the course with a full audience, otherwise how would anyone trust him to be a part of the team if he couldn't handle them watching.

"Tomorrow," Virgil finally spoke and Gordon could hear the emotion his brother was trying to keep under control. "You need a break."

"Tonight," the blonde countered. "I don't think I could wait until tomorrow. I wouldn't be able to sleep, anyway." He grinned, accepting the hand up as Virgil stood. He was shaking his head, but the amusement behind the smile that met his told Gordon he would get his wish.

"C'mon, Squirt." Virgil wrapped an arm around his shoulders, as much for comfort as it was to keep him from falling over. "At least eat a decent lunch."

Gordon grimaced. "Who's cooking?" Food poisoning wouldn't help in any way, shape, or form, but his stomach was now screaming at him after the use of so much energy.

A laugh cut off his concern. "Don't worry. Grandma already agreed to let Parker handle all the cooking."

"Oh!" That peaked his excitement as Gordon remembered some of the meals the chauffeur had concocted while on the island. His abilities in the kitchen had to have been another reason for Penelope to keep him around. "Now, that I can handle."

They made it to the elevator that would take them to the rest of the family. They would learn he'd made it through the course and Scott would watch the recording after everyone had gone to sleep. Gordon was determined that it wouldn't be necessary. They would see him complete it before the sun went down.

A new idea popped in his head and his smile told of the mischief he hoped to create. "You know, my next run, you guys should take a turn."

Virgil groaned, physically slumping at the thought. It wasn't that they couldn't do it, just the amount of energy it took to complete the course would leave them all grounded for the rest of the night. They were technically still on duty if anything came up that local authorities couldn't handle.

"I know Alan would have a blast, " Gordon continued, suddenly liking the idea of getting to see his brothers in action. He hadn't realized how long it had been. "Could be fun!"

The arm over his shoulders shifted and locked around his neck. "Yeah! Fun!"

Giggles wriggled from him as his brother's fingers ruffled his hair until the elevator chimed and he was being dragged inside. His only defense was to jab fingers into Virgil's ribs, sending them careening into one of the walls.

"Stop! I give!" Gordon wheezed between laughing. "You win!" He stumbled as Virgil released him. The grip on his arm kept him from falling with the continued giggles he suspected were being fueled by exhaustion.

"Alright, Gordo." Virgil straightened the both of them, sobering slightly. "You just make sure you remember what we talked about."

"Just be me." He half saluted, but he felt the warmth flow across his chest. It came with the knowledge that he was loved by his family, no matter how he did. They would always support him if he couldn't support himself. "Thanks, bro."

Virgil pulled him into his side, ruffling the haphazard bangs back into place. And even though he still had a bit further to go, the elder couldn't help offering what was long overdue.

"Welcome back, Gordon." 


End file.
